Dark Horse Brewing Co. Bourbon Barrel Monster 29

Background: Alas, it has been quite some time since I have updated this interwebbing surf-net book page.  However, along came this Beer (brought by my much aforementioned friend).  Like many great Beers sampled by this author (for clarification; me) the tale of how this libation came to rest in my glass is wondrous.


Although this tale does not involve wizards, cycloptic monsters, nor even a flying buttress it does involve that great feat of man kind; waiting.  3.147*10^2 hours were spent, dormant, hunting, watching, waiting for this rare brew to emerge.  Through his conviction, and dedication, I was able to sample this elusive elixir.

Color: Awesome.

Taste: Art.  Upon the arrival of the first sip a sweet, smooth, and complex flavor bouquet graced my tongue (and some of my lips to be honest).  This brew was more complex than the social and economic issues caused from donkey cheese hoarding.  If this serum was compared to an instrument, a large piano would be best for analogizing, even as big as 5 keys long.  Yes there are 5 different notes in this piano of the future, but  each note contributes it's own personality into the chord of beautiful Beer.

C.A.Miller Brewing IPA (homebrew)

Background: Whilst enjoying the fine entertainment of 3.5 friends this brew was bestowed upon me.  Lately I have been on a big kick of bourbon barrel aged stouts, so when I was presented with an IPA I was a bit hesitant; I crave chocolate and receive vanilla.  This was C.A.Miller's first brew and as such I expected something drinkable, and that was about it.  I am happy to say I was very wrong.

Color: Nice malty amber, and I am pretty sure I could see hop leafs in various reflections.

Taste: Jealousy.  This brew was good.  Period.  I was craving my BBA stouts until I had this.  Not only is this beer good, but it is a First attempt at home brew.  It took me a few years to get a beer close to this, hence the envy.

Instantly, the flavor of beautiful fresh harvest hops teases the tongue while the malt flavor balances the typical bitterness associated with this style.  I was reminded of what IPAs can provide, and as such there are precisely naught stouts in my cupboard, replaced instead by IPAs.  Thank you C.A. for the refreshing change of pace.  I look forward (enviously) to future brews. 

Woaked 'Em Up Ale

Background:  This is the second beer which could (currently can) be found on tap at Casa-de-Tobias.  I brewed this potable using copious amounts of biscuit and chocolate malts.  It was then left to age with bourbon soaked toasted American Oak chips.  Many have attempted this combination however none have been successful in creating a good beer this way*  The name was spawned whilst browsing the Googles for information on clear coating paper.  I was directed to a site which is dedicated to this odd form of American car racing called NASCAR.  The people have a very interesting way of talking, and the name is dedicated to them and this "rocket fuel" which is apparently something used by people and not the vehicles.  The label was designed by this writer, and it is one I am proud of.

Color:  Deep dark brown.  Much like a piece of oak soaked in ebony dye.  I believe I can see the elegant grain of the beer mimicking the oak upon which it was aged.

Taste:  I have brewed 2 beers between this one and Hopeyedidntfuckitup Ale.  You will notice neither made it to review; neither were worthy of the time once the "pride effect" was removed from the tasting.  This beer however has been a pleasant surprise.  It has a dry flavor accentuated by the essence of toasted virgin oak.  While one might not get a splinter drinking it (quality control would make a 6 Sigma blackbelt spew sick allover), it certainly tastes like a possibility.  This dryness is beautifully balanced by the sweet brown sugar tones of bourbon.  Even though the libation has a calculated IBU of 51, the hops are nearly indistinguishable from the mouth, although they are present in the nose (of the beer and the drinker alike).  That should make any of the sponsored NASCAR beer drinkers happy.

*In my dwelling...

ABInBev Budweiser

Background:  With the American colony about to celebrate still having their independence I decided I should get into the festivities.  Since I did not k now what the saying “Bah mer-ah-can” meant (although it is forcibly shouted when heard) I decided I needed a different approach.  As such, I did some research as to what the most American Beer style was, and which Beer exemplified it.  It turns out that the words “clean, crisp, and cool”  are used as a style in place of the term “Lager.”   An interesting note; Americnos Lageros is Latin for “to blandly see through a medium more clearly than air.”  With a little research, it became clear that this was the best choice to celebrate what American is: The Budweiser is touted as being an American Beer, however it is owned by ABInBev which is a Belgian (not a state in the US) company.  Much like purchasing an American automobile, such as a Chrysler, who is owned by Fiat, which is an Italian (also not a state) company.

Color:  As is the typical with American Lagers, it is very light.  When I look at this in a glass I think one of two things:  by jove my water has jaundice, or yet again this poor establishment has refused to wash my glass prior to serving my San Pellegrino.  The closest descriptor I can muster would be similar to the color Icterine.

Taste:  I must admit that I have seen this Beer take some criticism from the educated Beer press for being bland and lackluster.  Many go as far as to say “similar to water.”  I feel as though this is an exaggeration for if given the choice between water and Budweiser, I would choose Budweiser.    I think a better description would be to imagine a 20g tea bag filled with biscuit malt, and a quarter hop flower steeped in carbonated water.  

Glen Finch Scotch Ale

Glen Finch Deer Head Scotch Ale

Background:  I must admit I haves been drinkning while a little bit before writing this.  As is the norm, I try the beer, and then review it because going it the other way is ignorant because then I haven’t had the beer yet so how can I possibly review it?  I finished off the Hopeyedidntfuckitup ale earlier today and a friend gave me this beer to review.  

Color:very light like Miller light.  Very little carbonation, but man does it kick.  I think the abv is 9.6 percent; it’s hard to read. 

Taste:  it states a lot like scotch and not a lot like ale.  It is impressive that a beer can have this much alcohol flavors to it.  I started in on my second glass, and I,ll be buggered if I cant; remember how many I had before it.  This stuff relllllay hits you.  Like an American football player.  Or like a sack of pots.  I like marshmallows.    

Name Tag Classic

Name Tag Classic

Background: Classic. In one word, this is an exemplary description. I am reminded of my Grandpapy's memories, sitting on a rocking chair, drinking a Beer. No particular name, no particular taste, just a beer. When I saw this timelessly labeled beverage sitting upon the shelf at the nearly local store whose name escapes me, (it is similar to Traitor Bose) I was sent back to a time when the male was a Man, and Beer was Beer. Even though I did not live during this time, I remember it fondly.

Color: The shimmer of this beer would have rivaled a polished piece of nearly clear Baltic amber. Lighter than some things which I can't cleverly think of off the top of my head, but I assure you are really light. If a color can be described as muddy, this would be it's antithesis. Possibly the best analogy I can think of would be what one might observe in the WC at a point of near perfect hydration.

Taste: It has the classically classic taste of a classic lager. To be perfectly transparent (not too unlike the Beer itself) the flavor is not what sold me with this particular beverage, it was the sales sign. It read similar to this message; “Name Tag: @ $2.99 for 6, it works.” At close to a metric 5% ABV it packs a classic whallop, and served ridiculously cold, your papillae will be classically impressed. Quite classic indeed.

Shorts Mystery Stout

Shorts Mystery Stout

Background:  It is a mystery that this bottle made it to my abode (not to be confused with commode, although they do rhyme quite nicely I do say).   I purchased what I thought to be a complete half dozen bottles of another brew, however when I pulled out the first one it turned out to be this beer.  True to its name, I am unsure how it appeared here whether it be osmosis, evanescence, or by any other vaporiously mediocre band named process.  It was there, and of course I had to drink it.

Color:  Dark.  Much like the famed Black-Brown wood coloring found at a famous Swedish furniture store.  The beer was dense looking, and I swear I saw something looking back at me.  This beer is rather unnerving.

Taste:  Unnerving, that is until I took a sip.  A familiarity swept over me which can be likened to having a freshly sun dried fleece blanket wrapped around my head.  This is no ordinary familiarity, nonsense.  This was the familiarity of meeting someone who you believe you have known all of your life.  It is not just a flavor phenomenon that I am trying to describe, but the whole experience around the tasting.  I felt as if I had had these flavors throughout my life, yet not at one instant.  Isolated, the different flavors are dare I say, drab?  Together, they share the acquaintance that only siblings from the U.S. State of West Virginia can have.  This is the least special, special Beer that I have had.  I think it is a mystery that although it is completely unremarkable, I have desired on more than one occasion, to purchase it again (knowingly this time).