Hopeeyedidntfuckitup Ale Investigation Into How I Effed it Up

Hopeeyedidntfuckitup Ale Investigation Into How I Effed it Up

The title explains it all; I was expecting the brew to come out around 7.9% ABV, at which point I would be getting close to the ball park of being able to bottle age this batch.  However, with a measured output of 5.1% I came up quite short.  I figured the best way to go about this was to assume complete fermentation, and look at my specialty grain conversion.  I never knew what my conversion efficiency was, so I figured I would investigate this.  As it turns out, I was about as efficient as a class A amplifier.

Using Palmer’s book I was able to reference what an ideal, and 85% efficiency conversion would have outputted for the grains I steeped.  I used these numbers to compare my measured output to, learning how good my conversion was.  Keep in mind, I used liquid malt extract as part of the recipe, and this should be considered 100% efficient.  I then worked backwards, using my measured original gravity, I subtracted the portion which the LME contributed, and then got how much my steeped specialty grains contributed.  From here I was able to divide this by the theoretical maximum and get a pretty good estimation of my efficiency.  I threw this into Excel to make it easier for the future batches.

Conclusions:  My conversion was about as good as Miller Lite is when compared to Burton Baton.  I will leave it to your imagination to guess what that means.  The next step is to figure out what I did poorly.  The first look brings me to this:  pH.  As a general rule of thumb, one wants a ratio greater than 1.0 of lbs of grain per gallons of extraction water.  I was under this, which could cause bad conversion.  Additionally, to avoid excess tannins I only steeped the grains for 30 minutes.  So on the next go round I will add 40% more grain, and I will steep it for about 60 minutes.  This should bring the efficiency up to better than tube amp status, and provide more grains to make my goal of around 9-11%.

Hopeeyedidntfuckitup Ale

Hopeeyedidntfuckitup Ale

Background:  I found this interesting drink in…my estate!  Yes, Hopeeyedidntfuckitup Ale was produced and is on tap at Casa de Tobias.  I must admit the name is not creative, nor is the idea for the brew.  There are multiple Vanilla Bourbon Stouts available but what sets this apart is its invention.  I traversed great distances to the nearest supply depot, with a well created recipe in hand.  However to my dismay, the depot had nearly none of the supplies which I had meticalisly planned for.  Thus, said name was mumbled under my breath as I grabbed things that seemed to match.  “What, I need roasted oat?  Roasted barley;  close enough, they both have ‘oaste’ in the names…”  I included bourbon, and the delicate flavor of real vanilla beans in this amalgam of guesstimation. 

Color:  darkish

Taste:  Surprisingly good.  It is often I make good beer, it is not often that part of the flavor that makes it good [to me] is not my own pride.  Actually, I might hypothesize that in fact, no beer that I have made thus far went unflavored by said placebo.  This brew truly is the first beer I have made in a few years of home brewing.  This is certainly not a pour of Bourbon County Rare by any fathom, but alas it is good.  

Sierra Nevada Ovila Dubbel

Sierra Nevada Ovila Dubbel

Background:  This Beer was presented to me in lieu of the libation of my quest; KBS.  It’s greatness was expounded to me by the shop attendant.  As his first recommendation to me was that of Fullers Ale 2007 about a year ago, I decided his opinion deserved consideration.  I quickly retraced the path I had taken to get there and arrived safely at home, bottle in brown bag under arm.

Color:  The beer was a bubbly translucent deep terracotta, like a fresh semi-dried brick hand made from the best of clay in Spain.  If I squinted, held my breath, spun in a circle three hundred and fourteen and a half times, and then looked at the glass with my eyes one fifth of the way open, I could actually see the Monks of the Abbey of New Clairvoix.  

Taste:  With all of the back story, the stones, and prayers I must admit I expected great things.  Alas, I must write that the tasting was less than this.  To use the word mediocre would be harsh, but only slightly.  I have had myriad other time (and inebriation) forgotten named ales with similar responses from my tongue’s flavor catchers.  What can be said is that part of the sale of each bottle goes towards the restoration of a twelfth century monastery, which although is not a flavor, it is nice.  I do look forward to this ale’s siblings, Saison and Quad which will be released in June and November respectively.    

Founders: Kentucky Breakfast Stout

Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout

Background:  I must break rank for a minute and say, without a doubt, this is one of the top 5 beers I have had in my life.  </taking off serious pants>  I can remember the first time I sipped Kentucky Breakfast Stout; ‘twas back when they called it by its given name, not the more common abridged moniker.  It was several years ago, and I can say I still remember reading the description: imperial stout aged in bourbon barrels.  It sounded interesting enough, I like a good stout or a neat low ball full of Wathen’s Single Barrel.  This was indeed an awakening for me; Beer served in a snifter?  But alas, pretentions aside, this drink was fantastic.  In the words of one William Smith, “My life got flipped-turned upside down.”  I very recently traveled out to Grand Rapids Michigan with the knowledge that the beer had released just one week prior.  I was greeted with utter disappointment when I learned they were already dry of the beverage.  But there was a thin trickle of good news:  The Black Party.

Color:  Dark.  This Beer was dark.  If thick were an adjective referring to shades of light, it would be suitably used in this case.  As I deliberately swilled the deep liquid in my glass I watched it velvetly coat the sides, retuning elegantly delayed, with grudging disdain for gravity.  Yes, all of this in just its color.

Taste:  Like a stout Beer aged in reissued bourbon barrels should: amazing.  I was surprised to learn that it was only aged for 1 year because its smooth yet bold bourbon flavor was so well matured.  This was not a beginning brewer dumping some liquor into their homebrew and pronouncing it “Bourbon Stout.”  No, this was something much greater, as if the corn was distilled in the beer during fermentation.  The smooth application of flavors was stunning, and unforgettable.  I should add that this photo is only one of the two bottles I was able to procure this year, and they are two of 64 delivered to my county.  

Great Lakes Brewing Company: Jabberwocky

I was recently on a tour of the Great Lakes Brewing Company with some dear friends of mine (yes, the same kind soul which shared the aforementioned Scotch ale).  We were delighted to have been shown around by none other than their brewmaster Luke.  He is quite the gentleman,  especially considering the cheeky shananigans of some of the more inebriated in the group. 
At the heart of this particular adventure's story however is a certain Beer.  After my drinking campanion asked Luke about any interesting non commercially available treats we were informed of the existance of a libation named Jabberwocky.

This brew was an ale of Belgium decent which had been aged in old sherry casks for no less than 6 years.  It had a deep amber color with hints of rose.  I must admit however, that lighting was low at best (perfect for a pub) which prevented accurate viewing and subsequent photography.
  
It had a very tangy flavor.  The sherry influence was instantly noted with an ever so light flavor of Californian oak (more than likely from the Napa Valley region).  The rest of the Belgium flavor followed, although subtly,  much unlike a vehicle from Spyker. 

Overall, in a day long tour of multiple breweries filled with mediocrity, Great Lakes (and another with review to follow) were standout leaders, making said trip quite well worth it.  Thank you to Luke for the hidden beast.

Smithwicks and my Trusty Pipe

I will break format here for a different combination which I found quite complimentary.  Smithwicks is a decent red in a bottle, and one of my favorite Beers of all time when fresh on draught.  By fresh I refer to the experience I had several years ago whilst visiting Wexford, Ireland:  I was in a small establishment sipping on the ubiquitous pint of Guinness when a fellow patron recommended this amber draught.  I tried it, and great scott was it fantastic.  Eveytime I crack open a bottle here I am always reminded of a great pint surfing an Irish spring.
That's neither here nor there, what I am getting to is the above combination.  My freeform pipe (an Andrew Michael original) found it's way to my mouth filled with a bowl of Independence by CAO.  This is a great smoke which I never tire of.  Its a nice blend of Virginia tobacco that is slightly smokey yet smooth and sweet.  I feel as if it was made to be paired with this Beer.  Together they create a dark yet mildly sweet flavor that ever so slightly burns the tongue.  Bravo! 

Harviestoun-Ola Dubh Special Reserve 16

Harviestoun-Ola Dubh Special Reserve 16

Background:  A dear friend approached me one day and we dove head first into a discussion of the finer things in life; scotch, questionable websites, beer, and pipe tobaccos.  Two of these points led him to going into his cellar.  Upon his return he produced a bottle of this fine brew.  The best of discussions always lead to great things.

Color: I am reminded of planks of kiln dried deep, rich, dark, American walnut, glistening with a light coat of hand rubbed urethane. 

Taste: What does one expect from a drink when they understand that a complex ale has been aged in fine scotch barrels?  Exactly what was presented to me, that is my answer.  To paraphrase using a quote from noted award winning author David Chappelle, in reference to dog food:  “It tastes just like it smealls….delicious.”