The iLike Beer Theme Song:

The iLike Beer Theme Song: "Drink Beer." Yes, this is an original song, exhaustingly derived by this author.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Glen Finch Scotch Ale

Glen Finch Deer Head Scotch Ale

Background:  I must admit I haves been drinkning while a little bit before writing this.  As is the norm, I try the beer, and then review it because going it the other way is ignorant because then I haven’t had the beer yet so how can I possibly review it?  I finished off the Hopeyedidntfuckitup ale earlier today and a friend gave me this beer to review.  

Color:very light like Miller light.  Very little carbonation, but man does it kick.  I think the abv is 9.6 percent; it’s hard to read. 

Taste:  it states a lot like scotch and not a lot like ale.  It is impressive that a beer can have this much alcohol flavors to it.  I started in on my second glass, and I,ll be buggered if I cant; remember how many I had before it.  This stuff relllllay hits you.  Like an American football player.  Or like a sack of pots.  I like marshmallows.    

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Name Tag Classic

Background: Classic. In one word, this is an exemplary description. I am reminded of my Grandpapy's memories, sitting on a rocking chair, drinking a Beer. No particular name, no particular taste, just a beer. When I saw this timelessly labeled beverage sitting upon the shelf at the nearly local store whose name escapes me, (it is similar to Traitor Bose) I was sent back to a time when the male was a Man, and Beer was Beer. Even though I did not live during this time, I remember it fondly.

Color: The shimmer of this beer would have rivaled a polished piece of nearly clear Baltic amber. Lighter than some things which I can't cleverly think of off the top of my head, but I assure you are really light. If a color can be described as muddy, this would be it's antithesis. Possibly the best analogy I can think of would be what one might observe in the WC at a point of near perfect hydration.

Taste: It has the classically classic taste of a classic lager. To be perfectly transparent (not too unlike the Beer itself) the flavor is not what sold me with this particular beverage, it was the sales sign. It read similar to this message; “Name Tag: @ $2.99 for 6, it works.” At close to a metric 5% ABV it packs a classic whallop, and served ridiculously cold, your papillae will be classically impressed. Quite classic indeed.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Shorts Mystery Stout

Shorts Mystery Stout
Background:  It is a mystery that this bottle made it to my abode (not to be confused with commode, although they do rhyme quite nicely I do say).   I purchased what I thought to be a complete half dozen bottles of another brew, however when I pulled out the first one it turned out to be this beer.  True to its name, I am unsure how it appeared here whether it be osmosis, evanescence, or by any other vaporiously mediocre band named process.  It was there, and of course I had to drink it.

Color:  Dark.  Much like the famed Black-Brown wood coloring found at a famous Swedish furniture store.  The beer was dense looking, and I swear I saw something looking back at me.  This beer is rather unnerving.

Taste:  Unnerving, that is until I took a sip.  A familiarity swept over me which can be likened to having a freshly sun dried fleece blanket wrapped around my head.  This is no ordinary familiarity, nonsense.  This was the familiarity of meeting someone who you believe you have known all of your life.  It is not just a flavor phenomenon that I am trying to describe, but the whole experience around the tasting.  I felt as if I had had these flavors throughout my life, yet not at one instant.  Isolated, the different flavors are dare I say, drab?  Together, they share the acquaintance that only siblings from the U.S. State of West Virginia can have.  This is the least special, special Beer that I have had.  I think it is a mystery that although it is completely unremarkable, I have desired on more than one occasion, to purchase it again (knowingly this time).